Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Fuzz News: Fair and Balanced Reporting, Unlike Some Others

Women, your day has arrived. Today, a male takes your side in the battle of the sexes. See, The Fuzz (not the cops, relax all you criminals) is fair and balanced, unlike Fox News. BTW, I like that nickname, The Fuzz. Maybe I can call all of you Fuzzheads? Fuzz-a-holics? Members of Fuzzy Nation?

Okay, so, men, women aren't the only ones to blame when it comes time for love failing. Oh no. We are just as guilty. Maybe more so. How, you ask? Dudes, seriously. No man in their right mind can EVER ask how we, the male species, are totally innocent when it comes time for courting, dating, and relationships. Hell, we are partially to blame (society holds the largest amount of blame on this one) for females feeling ugly or unsatisfied with their looks.

I am a man, last time I checked. And it is true, I have no idea what women go through. However, I do have female friends, and believe it or not, females actually do talk about relationship stuff with their male friends. At least mine do. So, while not an expert, I think I have enough knowledge to formulate some kind of idea of what men put you through.

Women, how many times have you met a guy, seems nice, and he turns out to be an asshole? Yea, I know, yesterday I ranted about how women love that. But, read it again. I said SOME women love it. All women have dated an asshole in their lives, just like all men have once been with a witch of a woman. But, not ALL women love asshole guys. Anyway, you think this guy is the one. He showers you with compliments, he buys you gifts, he cooks you dinner. He makes everything about you. Then, all he looks for is sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. The dates to restaurants turn into take out from Chinese fast food just so he doesn't have to wait 10 extra minutes for the booty. The gifts stop coming. The phone calls decrease. And you are left wondering what you did wrong.

Or, how about you meet a guy in a bar (first mistake LOL). You think he is hot stuff. So, you leave with him that night. He makes you think you are the world. And you sleep with him. During the night he leaves. And you never hear from him again.

Maybe you are dating a guy, things get serious. You are in love with each other and get married. Along come Little Jimmy. "You are such a cute family," everyone says. Then, the phone calls from work: "Honey, yea I have a business meeting. I will be home late." Or maybe "Yea the company is sending me on a business trip. Probably two or three day conference." Ever wonder what is really going on?

Men, a lot of us are dogs. That is true. A lot of us are nice guys though. But, I'm not here to discuss the nice guys. I am after the dogs who give us all a bad name. The actions of the asshole guy has an affect on how a woman thinks, acts, and basically, trusts. Is it any wonder that some women we meet are fragile in the mind? Or have low self esteem? Or are so afraid you are going to be an asshole like the other 10 jerks she dated, that she doesn't even give you a chance and pushes you away? Yea, it happens. Happens every day. And who is to blame? Not the women. No, it is the men.

See, men look at outer beauty (though plenty of women do the same thing, strictly judging by the outside attractiveness, damn the inner beauty). Men look at women, such as Britney Spears, and say 'I want that!" Yea, well, wake up call: YOU AREN'T GETTING BRITNEY SPEARS. A lot of men look at the body build of a female and make a judgement on that alone. Is it wrong? I think so. But, it happens to be a fact of life. Before I am scolded, yes, I know, the first thing you notice about someone is their looks. Well, looks also are a tell tale sign of who is an asshole and who isn't. Guys who try to look like the douchebags from Jersey Shore, yea, they are DOGS. Guys who try to dress nice and not overly impress, well, they just might be the keeper.

So, what are women to do? Women get wrapped up in their looks, afraid they aren't pretty enough, afraid their body isn't built like Britney or Jennifer Lawrence. Women start thinking they need to become that image men create in their fantasy. Women try to become the thing that they really aren't. And it is all because of men making females feel inadequate.

I have a friend, and this time we shall call her Stacey. She is a prime example of what I am describing. She has given up on relationships. And why? Cause of her guy. She started dating this guy several years ago. Was extremely happy. Well, he wound up having to go to another state for his job. So, they were separated. While he was away from her, all he did was find way to cheat/ He joined dating sites. He put ads out there on craigslist. He created different email addresses, ones Stacey didn't have access to. Just so he can hide his cheating.

One day, she found out. He slipped up. She was devastated and did the right thing: she broke it off. But, what happened after is a prime example of why sometimes men cannot find a decent woman. he blamed HER for everything. How dare you find my hidden email accounts. How dare you check up on me. Yea, I was exchanging naked pictures with other women, but YOU FOUND THEM SO THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I mean, he down right told her he was sleeping with other girls but somehow she was to blame cause she caught him. Yes, he mentally abused her. So today? Well, she no longer trusts men. she doesn't think there are any good guys out there. All because of her experience with a douche bag.

I have another friend who has had her share of relationships. And each one has ended with her deeply hurt and heart broken. We'll call this one Amber. How did all her relationships end you ask? Well, each guy, after dating her for months sometimes a year or two, left her because she wasn't what they were looking for in the looks department. Um, wouldn't you know this from, you know, the minute you meet her? Today, she is a wreck. Always worried about the food she eats. Or how she will dress. She hates going out now because she is worried people will laugh at her. These men have messed with her mind. And when a guy does show honest interest, she shuns him for fear of getting hurt again.

And, The Fuzz is going to make a confession. Yea, I am a nice guy. I have learned from the mistakes of my youth. And, well, I have even done some douche bag things in my younger days. And, I admit, I hurt a girl I was dating. Broke her heart into a million pieces. We are still friends today, and I am thankful for that. But, that doesn't take away from the stupidity of my actions back when we were dating.

See, one summer day, my girlfriend at the time, um, we'll name her Candice, was having a party with her family. it was a celebration of her graduation. I was invited. However, the party was the same day of a baseball game I had. I was coaching little children (8-9 age range) and we were playing for first place. So, I told Candice that I would be there after the game. But, she didn't accept that. She wanted me there all day. I can totally understand her feelings. But, me, being young, probably dumb, told her I couldn't let the kids down, that I had to be there for them, that I made a commitment to them, and couldn't back out. And, I am a believer in not backing out of commitments. I won't talk about that now, getting off the subject.

After several discussions, and trying to get her to see my way, I gave up. Candice was holding steadfast in her belief that I should drop the kids, forget the game, and be there to celebrate her graduation. I, on the other hand, refused to budge on my commitment to the kids I coached. She felt I was her boyfriend, she should come first, and I should be there to celebrate a major achievement in her life. I felt, I worked hard with these kids to get them to this point of winning the championship, that I shouldn't leave them now. I was going to be there for her, just not from the beginning of the party.

Well, longer story made shorter, she broke it off with me over that decision. And as such, I lost a really great girl. Over a baseball game, which, if memory serves (and in my old age, I still serves me well) we lost. So, I lost twice that day: the game and my girlfriend. And as I said, we are still friends, and we give each other a ribbing over this from time to time, but, that doesn't mean what happened should be taken lightly or as a joke. It is part of what I am ranting on today, how men treat women, and then we wonder why women don't trust us, or flock to a certain type of guy, or whatever it is women to that is in direct response to how men have treated them in the past. I learned from my mistakes. Most men don't.

So, men, see, you are part of the problem. You shallow, egotistical douche bags! If you stopped looking for your image of a fantasy girl (hint: THEY DON'T FREAKING EXIST, THIS ISN'T HOLLYWOOD), then maybe relationships, or at least the act of courting, won;t come with all the extra complications. Meeting someone is hard enough. Why do we need to make it harder on ourselves by looking for something that is a creation of movie magic and not the creation of whatever holy being you choose to worship, or maybe evolution?

Women, it is time. I stand by you, middle finger in the air, and I am screaming along with you: douche bag dudes, today, you get the big F.U.

Cause you really do ruin it for the rest of us REAL MEN out there.

 ***You can follow me on Twitter at @FuzzyUrlachter or find us on Facebook at: Just click the links on the side of this blog.