Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Day Two: Yet Another Big F.U.

I just want to start off today's post by congratulating Kim Kardashian for the ultimate honor of being the first, um, winner of the Big F.U. award. Now, how do I follow up a rather successful first award? Well, with an even better second award. Buckle up tightly people, this ride is about to get rocky!

So, music has been a staple of pop culture for years. Many, many years. From cavemen banging on rocks to Native Americans doing rain dances while tapping their tom toms. Heck, as a child I even had one of those toy tom toms. Yes, my group of friends used to play cowboys and indians (with cap guns that looks, MG like real guns. Funny, we never grew up wanting to blow people away with the real thing. Maybe our parents raised us.... RIGHT!!!!) and we played with those tom toms, doing indian dances. As we grew older, we began playing real musical instruments, drums, guitar, clarinet, trumpet. Some of us went on to play piano and violin. The common theme in our lives, despite the difference in instruments, was music. 

I grew up in a time where much of the music was diverse. We had hair metal bands, the beginnings of rap/hip hip, rock 'n' roll, grunge was bursting out onto the scene. Some of our friends in high school started listening to alternative rock, or death metal. Classic rock was considered anything from 1960's to 1970's. Oldies was 1940 and 1950. We still listened to it all. Motley Crue, Guns N Roses, Nirvana. Bruce Springsteen, Madonna, Culture Club, just to name a few. Poison hit it big. Def Leppard blew us away with Pour Some Sugar On Me. Cyndi Lauper made sure we knew girls just wanted to have fun. Man, those were the days. Sadly, this was also the advent of: the boy band.

Yes, the boy band. Talentless pretty boys who couldn't sing to save their lives, were thrown into the musical mix, just to get the hearts pumping of female who, well, had their hormones raging and couldn't tell talent from, well, wall hanging material. New Kids on the Block (we guys used to have another name for them, one I will refuse to post here because young eyes may be reading). Backsteet Boys (again, we guys had a nickname for this band too). Tone deaf fans flocked to their concerts and to the record stores (remember them???) to buy their cassettes (man I am aging myself aren't I?) or CDs (were just coming onto the market, no one knew what an Ipod or MP3 player was, and no one digitally downloaded their music). So, as great as the music was back then, we also had blips in the road. 

Fast forward to today. Where has all the good music gone? Radio stations play crap today. The music can be described with one word: SUCKS. Where is the rock? The roll? The metal? The attitude musicians had when striking their chords on their guitars? Or the anger in their voice as they screamed their lyrics into the microphone, causing your ears to bleed (in a good way). Today, the so-called musicians make your ears bleed because they suck. Your ear drums are committing suicide for being subjected to this trash.

Well, I should get on to today's Big F.U. winner. Well, no need to describe him to you. There is only one, okay there are really two people who would be great picks to follow Kimmy. But this winner had to be the follow up. The second winner is: Justin Bieber.

Can anyone tell me, with a straight face, how come he is so popular? And you have to leave out the obvious: preteen girls are tone deaf and weird mommies with mental issues aren't getting enough McLovin from their husbands. This so-called musician (geez, he doesn't even sing let alone play an instrument, can we really call him a musician?) had to sell his soul to Satan in order to get as popular as he is today. His fame and fortune proves several things: there is no God, Satan is alive and well, and music industry insiders can throw anyone out there and pre-teen girls who don't know any better will eat that crap right up. 

Someone needs to tell Justin that he is white. Hell, even black performers don't dress like this wanna be does. Eminem never even dressed like this. And Eminem is as black as a white person can get (sorry Marshall, despite trying to be black, Kim Kardashian wouldn't go for you. You are still white, on the outside). Justin, we are in the 21st century, the year is 2013. Black people no longer wear their pants hanging down to their knees showing off the crap stained boxers. And neither should you. Makes you look like a jackass. His fashion designer needs to be fired like yesterday.

And what did Selena Gomez see in him? Or continues to see in him? Are they back together? Does Satan have a grip on her too? Was she enchanted into thinking Justin was the only one for her? Wake up Selena. There are plenty of real men out there (no, Kanye West isn't one of them despite what Kimmie says) who would love to date you. You seem like a level headed young adult. Please, make better decisions. Your career will thank you.

Oh, and now people are all pissed cause, OMG Justin was smoking weed. Thank you TMZ for posting those pictures. I mean, come on people, get real. I can't stand this guy but all he did was some weed. Tell me, as a kid, did you smoke up? You didn't? Liar. I know, you are trying to set an example for your kid. Newsflash, your kid will one day smoke a joint, drink, bum a cigarette off a friend, and wait for it... have sex. I know you don't wanna hear it, but, um, it is true. Oh, and the new news item to come from this: Bieber fans are cutting themselves until he apologizes for allegedly smoking weed. Um, really? Cutting yourself? Kids and adult females with mommie issues, please ask yourself this: IS THIS NO TALENT MORON WORTH IT? Simple answer is no. Wait, I'm talking about Justin Bieber. Man, my mind gets side tracked easily cause he is not a subject I really care to discuss. 

Well, I'll wrap that up here. But before I do, let's all give Justin Bieber a big... F.U.

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